As my friend, I come to you, with my meditation, involving you in my far-flung needs – as we are both addicted. Some needs I recognize as part and parcel of the full or limited measure of my own responsibilities. Some needs seem far removed from where we are, they but underscore the littleness and impotence of our lives. You as my friend should know that the only reason I come to you is I trust your heart to be with me in this time of my predicament and my great striving to overcome my addiction.. So wilt you understand me and deal gently with our private life.
We are mindful that we are both sinners, and when we take this stand, our God knows what we are thinking of ways by which we have not owned up to the law placed in our hearts. I turned to you and ask you to say with me, before our God, that we ask as addicts to stand with us and replenishment our spirits. We ask you God because you know of our limitations – all the mean things to which, either in moments of weakness or of pride, we have yielded to our addiction. The bad thoughts that we have had even as our faces were smiling and our eyes where glowing… The things that we mean, our God, as we talk to Thee about our addiction. Wilt Thou forgive us, that we may try again to make it where we have failed before?
Our fears, our God, are very present. We know that there is no occasion in all the quietness to talk of the tempest and the tortures of our private fears. But they are a part of our lives: the fear of cravings, fear of sickness, fear of bodily failure, fear of desertion and loneliness, fear for our jobs, fear of the instability of our own economic lives, fear of the success that haunts us in our every step, and most of all fear that our families especially our children will not accept the smallness of your trinkets and toys as we hide all of our other fears from their sight.
It is so wonderful, God, that we come as friends before you. To talk with You about this, that the fears are not always present, that there are moments when we are free and our very spirits take wing, and all the things that imprison and hold us – friends nonetheless – before your Spirit. At this moment we look down on are addictions and wonder why they could hold such sway over our lives. These moments come to us and we thank Thee for them. May we remember them when, alone or together, our fears close in upon us.
Our dreams are before us and before Thee, the dreams which we had forgotten until, in the quietness, all the stillness before Thee brings, my friend and me, back to a friendship in this quietness.
O God, keeper of the dreams of Thy children, leave us not alone, leave us not alone. Be in us and between us even as Thy spirit does surround us, to the end that we may take courage, without which our spirits will surely sicken and die. O God, who will not let us go, teach us how to hold fast to each other as we hold fast to Thee.