I hope your early spring is being filled with smiles – music and good food. Mine is! I’ve been ruminating about what would make these moments better for me – one thought keeps popping up: the last great love of my life. Thus I keep writing about my attempts – this is another. Taken all together – I’m building a case of what I expect and why I joined Okcupid, Plentyoffish and Match and how complicated it all is for someone like me (I liken it to cold calling the tallest building in town – asking everyone that answers their door to let me give them a demo of a product they may not need). Not all of it is complex – only that I tend to think a lot about what I’m up do – some of it is quite simple.
The part that is simple is the notion of engaging lots of “like minded” (a problem in its own way) woman in an open search for possibilities. The possibility that we could carve out from a collection of faces and answers just a few prospects that will make the investment of time and treasure make sense. The possibility that the answers given by some will be true and accurate enough so that insights can be formed – that those insights will be titillating enough such that feel justified in learning more – expand the vista into these few such that a narrowing of the field so as to invest more resources – striving for some efficiency – defined as taking our profiles out of circulation.
What I now know is that all these possibilities do lead to a certain amount of complexity. In my work life facing such situations, where complexity became evident, I would try to narrow down and prioritize those elements that had the greatest importance for me or my client to be used as the prime indicator to simplify matters somewhat.
In this situation, I’ve chosen, writing (or in-depth voice to voice communications) in response to my journal rants – can the person that has been filtered into this situation – carry ideas, communicate with color and clarity and do they like to engage another in such fashion – given my stated strategic orientation. The reason being – that the only way I see to minimize distance and other cluttering distractions is to focus on methods of communication that work minimize time, distance and foster clarity. In my work life it was called asynchronous – which means for our purpose – you don’t have to be listening (or next to me) when I talk – the message is available when you are.
In addition, writing via the new tech devices opens up other possibilities – sight over distance, which is one of my favorites – I like to use Skype or video phones in certain situations – let your imagination wander a little here. It also provides possibilities for depth of communication. This depth is where for me it really strikes me profoundly.
Writing opens up the vista of the inner voice that knows all the secrets – sees all the twist and turns that life as taken us into and around. My desire is to find that someone who is knowledgeable enough of themselves and secure within what they know be able to communicate – to a like positioned person those matters that make a difference.
Why such depth is necessary, well the truth for me is that trust comes out of having a clear sense of expectation to what the other person will or will not do in situations of uncertainty. Faith and trust share a border that touches those situations of uncertainty – faith needs no evidence – trust does. In this way strong communication skill for me strengthens – thickens – makes real what my heart wants to have faith in. So I’m looking for that person that can reveal herself to me such that I can learn to trust before physical love makes that more complicated. Of course there is much more to love than text or voice – but for this note – this time – trust and communication in the context of distance will have to serve as a start.
I’m hoping you will read and respond what you need and how what I’ve written makes us possible or not.
Waiting to learn